Well, I've gone and done it. I bought new glasses. I know this might not seem exciting to some of you, but it's pretty darn exciting to me. (then again, what does that say about my life?)
Here's the thing...I didn't need glasses until I was 31. Bought the glasses that are currently hangin' on my face at that moment. Five years of these cute but far-from-sexy glasses. I didn't know WTF I was doing back then. But now, Clay, in his wisdom, has guided me to hotness.
I suppose it was the recent inspiration of Principal Aiken that put me in exactly the right mindset when I walked into that Eyemasters today. When I'd chosen these original frames, I was trying to hide them a little. Didn't want anything too showy. Wanted some personality to 'em (there's a squiggle on each...oh heck, what're they called, the ear-sticks? holder-uppers?...somehow I was a squiggler long before I started squiggling here!), but otherwise I wanted them to vanish.
Just like Clay did. (*sigh* We have so much in common. At least all those weird inconsequential things.)
But Clay is sexy as hell in his glasses. They're not so much glasses as "attractiveness enhancers". (tm Cella) It's as if we're a bunch of ants and he's turning two lenses on us, concentrating his hotness, until we explode in a puff of vaporous protein.
(I've never wanted to much to be an ant in all my life. Fry me, baby!!)
So, I went for it. Told Mr Julie, as I was wandering through the store, that I was going for a "trying a case on Law & Order" look...but really what I wanted was a pair of glasses that a guy couldn't wait to see me take off. Shake my hair out of its loose bun. Hot for teacher. Like Clark Kent, only a blonde chick with a huge rack. Fo shizzle.
And I got some. They've even got a blue undertone to enhance my eyes. They're awfully nice, and I get the feeling that Mr Julie is looking forward more to me getting *my* glasses tomorrow than he is to getting his...and he's the one who's blind as a bat right now!
So, uh...when that new album gets done, and a Certain Someone goes on tour...well, if he's scared of the women in the front row lookin' at him like they wanna eat him alive, just wait till I go Superman on his ass. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Yeah, I see you, Paula...if I wasn't such a stickler about having every word written and perfect before I sprung a story on the world, you'd probably be reading some of it right now! Then again, could you *handle* a cute seventeen-year-old redheaded boy? Oh...you *could*? Well, okay then...I'll see what I can do. ;o) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My hope for Clay for the new year? That he relaxes at home (wherever he's hanging his bucket hat at the moment...ooh, I just pictured what he might be hanging it *on*, and now Mr Julie is wondering why I'm giggling!), just thinking for a few weeks about what kind of album he wants to ultimately release, remembering that this ISN'T the last thing he's ever going to do, so it doesn't have to incorporate every single thing he's ever wanted to put into an album (sheesh, he's got enough pressure on him without adding his own by acting like everything he does is his last hurrah in showbiz), then getting into the studio and recording the GD thing. In the meantime, I'll be putting aside some money for a plane ticket, because I just know he ain't comin' here (I'm not sure what else I can offer him to get his ass to Austin...I've offered him my services as a personal shopper, I've offered to hook him up with Famous People, I've offered him carnal pleasures the likes of which will ruin him for all other women...what do I have left?), and getting myself psyched up for the next phase of what I still believe will be a helluva ride. I love being a Clay fan, even if he makes me bang my head on the desk sometimes. (and not in a good way) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Funny...I hadn't even thought about not having a new calendar until y'all mentioned it. Of course, Mr November is still giving me that look that made it impossible for me to turn him away.
I know I haven't been around much...was there word of a calendar and it just never happened, or are the people who decide who's famous/popular enough to make a calendar of them just shoving him out of the way to make room for someone in the Clearasil set?
from Julie -- who always makes passes at boys who wear glasses
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11:00 pm - Monday,January 2, 2006